I recently entered my first short story competition. The narrative had to be about ‘being lost’ and could not exceed 250 words. I thought I’d share my entry with you and would so appreciate your honest feedback as we all need constructive criticism to improve.
I’ve lost my left shoe. It’s a black leather brogue and without a doubt it’s half of my most comfortable pair. I wore it just the other day and now it’s gone, and I don’t know where. They’ll be here soon, so I must find it.
One shoed, I clip-slide, clip-slide, clip-slide across the dusty wooden floor, searching frantically. I look under the bed but find only a pair of slightly grubby underpants. In the bathroom there’s only a single damp towel. My eyes scan the kitchen but see only foil covered dishes of tasty morsels waiting to be devoured by chatting guests … but that’s for later. Right now I need, desperately, to find my shoe!
The cat slithers its way through my legs, back and forth like a lover’s caress but far from giving comfort, it’s just a reminder of another unwanted task to be completed before they arrive. Feed the cat!
Perhaps I took it off at the front door? I catch a glimpse of myself in the hall mirror. My haggard face stares back at me. Neat hair, freshly shaved, bloodshot eyes. I’ve been drinking far, far too much of late. It must stop, soon, but not today.
The doorbell chimes their arrival … and I’m not ready. I’ll never be ready. Still sporting a single shoe I reluctantly open the door. There they are, the dark suited men, the black car, waiting to take me to my beloved wife’s funeral. I am lost. (248 words)
If you enjoyed this and would like to read another, have a look at The Painting – A short story.